postman rings twice and one more time

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Dear A,

In a prolonged low phase, no signs of hope but utter despair (God’s humor at its best). We eventually do accept, reconcile, move on…right?
So did I.
Step by step, I worked on myself with low calorie ice creams and brisk walks at home. I launched a series of inspirational quotes on fb and I changed my profile picture from college days, a complete makeover, the world must know. Also, I steered clear of low life poets and their updates. But let me report my rendezvous later with a new pedicurist extended to let’s try a different hair color. Bitch. Well, now that the damage was done, I had no intention of winding my day, home alone watching telly so I made a few calls (God’s humor at its best, yet again) ended up meeting my ex (out of job which I had absolutely no clue of, I swear) in a dim-lit bar. My new hair colour went unnoticed and my credit card took a swipe twice in a day for no fault of mine.
I am back to naught.

Yours truly
N

Reply:

Dear N

That hurts. Come over my dear. Let’s talk.

P.S. BYOB

Self-service

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Self-service

A perfect Indian family.
Just before they passed out, man in the middle
called for the stewardess, instructed “Do not disturb. Tell the pilot too”
She nodded.
“but wake us up, when you’re ready to serve meal. Vegetarian only”

Prime Time

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IMG_3675

Government proposed
“Special Economic Zone”
Buy farm land for Industries, Chinese scheme
“Give us your land. We’ll pay you three times it’s worth”
Farmers refused
They lunged “let us be”
and the lobbyists won’t let that be

Relax
Give me a chance
Let me speak

“Farmers, my brothers, sell your land
You got no choice but two
Hang yourself to a rope and die or raise a gun
Don’t
Let me be your inspiration
Look at me
I’d sell anything
My underwear, my socks, my neighbor’s wife
That’s all I am left with”

My speech had an effect
But on the authorities, it seems
“An apartment on your farm land for free”
Awesome deal!!

Not a single eyelid winked
Farmers like to make out in the open, I believe
Damn…I so envy that
I’m game
In the car, on the beach, moonlit night
But hush hush job unlike countryside
Cops and hooligans alike, how many can I fight?
I am getting old now and I got to keep myself fit for prime time

Millions die of hunger in my country
Let them eat, I am on liquid diet
Prescribed by a celeb dietician, a cute one!

Am I missing the point?
Food grain decays in the open yards
Exposed to insects and rats

Huh! All you need is a reason to blame our politicians
How do you expect them to build storage overnight?
Haven’t they asked Wal-Mart and Carrefour to march in
With Dollars and Euros and insight?

Rise above petty thoughts
you don’t appreciate, take all for granted
air and water, they never levied upon us

Contaminated?

YOU FOOL,
We are immune
virus, bugs, worms, fertilized crops,
toxin, venom, carbide gas
a thirty odd die everyday, get crushed under trains
Don’t they read public messages?
Politicians are clueless
they did their job ardently
To make us aware
they glued posters
In the stinking public toilets
but we just don’t go there
We like it in the open

Ah! Now you get it

you need not question our politicians

or doubt their selfless act
Ask the Indian cricket team
if you don’t believe me

Can I see it?
Can I see a civil war closing in?
Really, is that true?

God help me please
Hold that war
Don’t be unfair
You see, I am on diet, and I have waited quite a while
I was promised a special coverage on TV, Prime time

Alright…alright, I’ll let that pass
One picture in page 3 will do
What do you say?

Damn, I hate deadlines