Step by step
I traced backwards
My life in question
What would I like to change?

I hit a firewall right at start
I’m going through a bad patch, you see..

So I let my mind wander
Dig in the past, random
Moments of joy, mind reported
Are bleak and unworthy
But not the times
I sunk low
Apparently morbid, I didn’t deserve it

Can I get a drink please?
Thank you dear

Stuff I wish never happened to me
So many, which one do I pick?
But consider this, if I change any one
Alters following events in my life
There’ll be new memories…

“Stop” screamed my heart
“I’m hurt too much for new hurts…
Give it up
Just let it be
We’ll be fine…have faith
I got you and you got me”

69 thoughts on “Magnolia

  1. le ferite fanno male in amore…ma sono dolci da rimarginare

    ti auguro che il pensiero di Federico Garcia Lorca sempre ti accompagni Poeta

    la Poesia non cerca seguaci ma amanti
    notte felice

  2. You write with such a boldness and ferocity. Sometimes I feel sad for you and sometimes I just wonder what it must be like to live in your skin. Quite poetically and heartfully put.

  3. To cast yourself back and take the other fork in the path, where would it lead? Would it be better?? The best part is knowing that you will never know 🙂

    • It’s like me playing a symphony in a packed audience, for your ears only. Your heart didn’t stop, you realized it’s presence, that moment, is yours…I’m happy, my poem found a shelter.

  4. Poignant, sad, even tragic. Beautifully written. Excellent poem and the photo is stunning, too. Whatever is going on with you is feeding your Muse. The ending has a note of hope which works well.o

  5. Yes, I have thought of this often. If you could go past and change the past, would you? You don’t know how the changes could change things moving forward. It could make things worse. Brilliant poem my friend~

    • In this phase of blogging, what I term as Act -3, I’m on a high, getting to discover you. I love your recent posts, but your two part series on Food n’ Tube – The revolution in American life, that was awesome, probably cause it’s happening as of now in India. You should know that, I thought…

  6. Hi Arjun,

    Very impressive poetry. Your first four lines resonated with me.

    “Step by step
    I traced backwards
    My life in question
    What would I like to change?”

    Interestingly I have dwelled on a similar thought in my last post titled, ” Who would I be without my story?” And I discovered that the tentacles go much further into the past than I had thought of earlier.

    As we ask the question, ” What would I like to change?” , is it from faint twinges of regret of where we are in the world? If so, does such regret really serve us? What could be the other way we could look at the situation?


    • Mind from time to time throws up these questions. It’s merely a blip in the web of bondage and they’ll appear more as time slips away, faster than we think.

      We’re well-read hence aware, we’ve digressed from our path, common delusion, securing our family. A must, mentioned clearly in Hindu philosophy “Grihastha Ashrama” referred as Karma yoga by Vivekananda.

      But like our cricketers, we won’t call it quits until thrown out and for remaining days we beg our way back to the stadium in a new avatar, making commentaries.

      There’s no reason to regret, if you’ve resolved in your head and are willing to take the plunge. You are alive and that’s what matters.

      Me, I reached the top in every venture, I dabbled in but on the top, found it utterly boring and mundane. The journey to the way up was fun though. Eventually after I quit, I was left with a pen and a camera. I’ve spend my last 4 years when not writing or taking pictures, gazing at the walls for days, Now I understand why Gandhi was so ever-willing to serve time behind bars.

      It’s a dark hole, sir but there sure is light at the end of the tunnel. Your call.

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  8. Arjun I know that you don’t accept the little awards that go round. But I nominated you for the Bouquet of Three Award to represent why I love your blog – your poems, pic’s and humbleness. Is that a word??

    • Thank you very much Shelley.
      My stand on the awards is a decision I’ve made and I expect fellow bloggers to appreciate and let me be. You love my blog and that’s my award.
      On a friendly note, I looked at all the awards that go around and I don’t like the artwork of any.

  9. I have been thinking of Walking on the water. This morning I finally went off and found this for you. I was hesitant, due to religion references. However, I’ve become driven by being afraid. That way, makes me very sick in all sorts of ways. So, in courage, I hope that you can hear the message that I meant.

  10. The course of events should not be changed, we are part of a stream and lost like trouts.. I agree with your sentiments, and like to read you – it feels less lonely believe it or not.

    • I agree. 8 months on WP, I’ve found some souls who listen, care. It’s an exceptional journey without this, I’ll be damned.
      There are so many dreams but this is resurrection time. To find a listener, can’t ask for more.

  11. Wow, can’t believe how long it’s been since I was here. Just fantastic – again. Really, really enjoy your stuff, Arjun.

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